With moon face and nail infection but I am feeling much better after a month and a half.

Needed to stop taking Tagrisso though it was working amazingly its chore but brought me pneumonitis. As soon as I started to take heavy dose of steroid to treat pneumonitis, I felt sick badly. My oncologist’s second choice, Tarceva, should do well in me. I have great appetite and enjoy cooking and eating everyday. Grocery’s home delivery service and some of my friends help ( Thank you so so much!) make it possible. I am enjoying slower life. Well, no choice but i like it : )

My favorite bathroom : )

My favorite bathroom : )

高濃度ステロイドの副作用で、12月からの1月半以上、ムーンフェイス、爪周り炎症、バッファロー肩、抜け毛、怠さ、やる気が出ない。散々でした。肺癌の自覚症状は、ほとんど無いので、辛いのは薬の副作用ばかりで、『あれ？私の病気ってなんだっけ？』って感じ。新しい薬（タルセバ）が効きますように。　幸運にも食欲はあるので、宅配サービスや、友人の手を借り（ありがとう！）食材を手に入れ、料理を楽しんでいます。長い事、作家業、先生業、親業にどれだけの労力と時間を費やしていたか。病気しなければ、こんな時間は経験出来ていなかった。人生皮肉なもんだ。がん治療というのは、治療と副作用と折り合いをつけながらその人に合う方法を見つける事みたい。

Pulmonary appointment #2

Very first time in the my lung cancer project, we saw enlarged ct-scanned my lung images and he talked about them friendly and clearly. The biggest cancer tumor, was about an inch, on my right bottom and back of my lung and some smaller ones around my color bone and throat. And hundreds of small little white dots all over the both lungs, look like stars in the sky in Ohio. He said that my lung cancer looks very unusual. (Actually my very first pulmonary doctor in my neighborhood hospital diagnosed me as not cancer after a week hospitalization in earlier May. He said it did not look cancer to him. Hello?! ) There was a small darkest part and that was how healthy lung should look like.

Tagrisso could kill all cancer cells just when it stops working hidden small cancers usually come back. “IF” tagrisso works years on me, I could have a good chance to live longer, so that the way to cure lung cancer could exist( just not yet) since I am still young and strong, have a lot of energy, all other organs look very healthy at this point. Hope that happens to me.:)

He said to me that eat whatever I can and keep the body weight so my body can fight inside of me. Though I lost appetite for side effect of tagrisso, I am feeding myself and not loosing weight last weeks. Good job myself :)

Went to eat meat balls at IKEA, Brooklyn.

Went to eat meat balls at IKEA, Brooklyn.

肺専門医に、息子と2人で会って来た。テレビドラマで見る癌宣告場面みたいな、大きな胸部ct scanイメージ見て、初めて説明された。3cm位の腫瘍が右下後ろに１つ。後、1cm位のが鎖骨上リンパ、喉周りに有る。後は両肺中に夜空のピカピカの星みたいに100以上の小さいのが散りばめられてる。平常の健康な肺はこんな風に黒く見えるんですって言われた黒い部分は、横にほんのちょっとだけ。ステージ4の5年後の生存率5%以下って言うのが有るんだけど、私はどうかと聞いてみた。この数字には一切の治療も施せず亡くなる人、体力の落ちた高齢者も多く含まれる。一方で、私は既にタグリッソと言う新薬が使えている、若く体力が有る、他の内臓は今の時点では健康で有るので、新薬で数年生きれれば、その間に根治方法が見つかるかる可能性が有り(まだ無いけど)、長く生きられる可能性は大きいと。えっと、可能性は有るって事で :) 現実を見ながらも前向きにいくよ。

Meeting nutritionist

Very first time experience in my 56 years of life. The nutritionist who works oncology department said that not to lose more weight. She said that add 1or 2 nutritious snacks addition to three meals a day. Use whole milk, add silken tohu, peanut butter or avocado into smoothie since each of my meal is getting smaller and as a result I have lost several pounds last one month. My sense of taste seems like changed since taking tagrisso. I feel too sweet of what I used to enjoy such as bottle of kombucha or ice cream. Rather enjoying blended frozen mango and home made unsweetened yogurt and milk :)

With Susan Gonzalez at Columbia Uni. Medical Center/NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital.

With Susan Gonzalez at Columbia Uni. Medical Center/NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital.

癌科と仕事をする栄養士に会った。56年生きて始めて、体重をこれ以上減らすなと言われた。うーん、妊娠以来20年体重増えっ放しだから、食欲減って嬉しい所なんだけどね。この一月、1回の食事の量が減って、特にタグリッソを飲み始めてから、味覚が変わり今迄好きだった甘い物が甘過ぎに感じて食べたく無い。我慢する必要が無いのは素晴らしい。1回の食事が小さくなってる分、栄養のあるオヤツや、喉越しの良いスムージー等(ピーナッツバターや絹ごし豆腐、ココア、アボカドを入れる事をススメられた)で補えという事だ。体内で癌細胞と闘ってる筈だから、長期戦で戦える余裕を作れって事の様だ。凍ったマンゴーに無糖ヨーグルトと牛乳をブレンダーに掛けたのは、暑い日は美味しい。あと、麻婆豆腐も、喉越しがいいので食べ易い。辛めの物は食欲を刺激してくれる様で、カレーも美味しく感じる。体重減って喜んでる場合では無いらしい。あはは。